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Relationship Advice from the Eternally Single

30 Day Writing Challenge – Day 1

Discuss your current relationship

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! We’re off to a great start…

Me when someone tells me love is in the air.

I don’t date. But I’m not crazy, PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN! I would date, if I found someone extraordinary, but I haven’t found anyone with mutual interest yet. My standards are fairly high, but that’s not a bad thing. I expect the same from my man! Unfortunately, the dating world is full of booby traps, dumpster fires, and man-children, and I would prefer to wade through this cesspool with some boots, at the very least. I’m a hopeless romantic, can’t you tell? So I navigate the dating world cesspool under the cover of friendship.

You may be thinking,”Hold up! Isn’t that the dreaded friend zone?!” It sure is! But before you comment on this post claiming to be a “nice guy” who doesn’t deserve the friend zone, I must be into complete assholes, the friend zone was designed to lead guys on, etc., PLEASE DON’T DEVALUE THE FRIEND ZONE. I, for one, love having friends. I think that it is important to become friends with a person before one enters into a relationship with them. It’s a solid foundation for a romantic relationship. Let me get to know you before we put a label on it! This should be common sense

I understand that people like to date around. I think this is normal. I just have a different normal that includes becoming friends with a guy before even thinking about dating them. So don’t rush me! I need to see how a guy is as a friend before I romanticize him.

Image result for relationship meme

I’m not ready yet. There are still things that need my complete focus, and having a man right now would only complicate things. I need to get my degree and find a steady career before I give some dreamboat all of my time. I also haven’t finished learning about myself. Before I enter into a healthy relationship with someone, I need to be complete by myself. It bothers me when people expect their significant other to complete them! I’m still figuring myself out, so I don’t have time to fix someone else! My man needs to be passionate about life and this is not something I can instill in him. He has to find his own way. I found this quote that explains my mindset to perfection:

“i do not want to have you
to fill the empty parts of me
i want to be full on my own
i want to be so complete
i could light a whole city
and then
i want to have you
cause the two of us combined
could set it on fire”

-Rupi Kaur

See? If we’re both complete, the two of us together could commit arson.

I am afraid. Every time things start to get romantic with a guy, I ghost them. Things either happen too quickly, they expect too much, or they intimidate me. I’m not used to the discomfort surrounding the early stages of a relationship, so I remove myself from the situation.

I live vicariously through my friends, and I don’t want to live through similar relationship dilemmas. I am afraid of investing everything into a relationship only to have it end poorly. I am afraid of giving someone everything they would need to destroy me. I am afraid of getting too attached, only to discover the feelings weren’t mutual. But, then again, it’s good to do things that terrify you once in a while.

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