30 Day Writing Challenge – Day 27
Discuss a problem you have or have had in the past.
I love singing. I love the performing arts. I’m an introvert. Together, these things are problematic. Sometimes I try to come out of my shell of introversion, but I usually regret it immediately.
When I was younger, my family would take me to see the high school’s performances. I was always impressed with the musicals, and I wanted to be the lead role when I was in high school. I had always loved performing, even if it was just for my friends and family. I would also frequently tell people I wanted to be a singer when I grew up. Way to keep it realistic, kid.
When I got into middle school, things had changed. I was no longer the outgoing, carefree performer I had once been. I was content with blending into the background, and I never went out of my way to do any acting in the community.
When I got to 9th grade, I was the bravest I have ever been, but it only lasted a moment. I tried out for a solo for our chorus Christmas concert. I wanted this solo. I had tunnel vision during my audition and I didn’t even focus on the other people trying out. I just focused on how to make myself stand out and sound better during my performance. I knew trying out for a solo was the first step to becoming the performer I wanted to be.
I ended up getting the solo. I couldn’t believe it! It was my responsibility to sing “When Christmas Comes to Town” from The Polar Express. What I didn’t realize during tryouts was my moment of bravery was short-lived. I had to practice in front of my classmates, and even that was hard. I wasn’t anonymous anymore. If I messed up, everyone would know it was me. I couldn’t hide behind a curtain anymore. Now I was in the spotlight.
I did my best during class, but as the day of the concert approached, I panicked more and more. I thought I could do this, but even imagining my shower walls while singing my solo didn’t make anything easier. And when it was time to sing for the masses, I froze. I sang as quietly as I could. I knew looking at the back of the auditorium was a good idea, but I couldn’t help but look at the people in the audience. I knew a lot of them. Messing up would be so embarrassing.
Afterwards, everyone blamed it on the microphone, but I know I was the one at fault.
I still haven’t gotten over this fear of singing in front of other people. But as soon as I’m alone, I’m belting out tunes.
Feel free to diagnose me.