Playing Hostess

30 Day Writing Challenge – Day 29

List 10 people, living or dead, you would invite to dinner. Include the dinner menu.

I have a confession to make. I can’t cook. I can make a pretty mean scrambled egg, but my cooking skills end there. That being said, I don’t think the point of this dinner party would be the eating part. After seeing the guest list, everyone would be too excited for the conversations to eat anyway. But since I’m a good hostess, I would offer them all cereal.

The Guest List

    1. My grandmother died before I was born, but if she’s anything like my mother, I would love to have a conversation with her. I would also love to ask her about her childhood. I haven’t heard much about it and I’ve never seen any pictures of her as a child.
    2. My grandfather died when I was eleven. It was always a good  time when he was around because he always did fun old man things like threaten me with his cane and let me ride around in his wheelchair.
    3. I would love to see my mother interact with her parents. I don’t know how they were as a family. Also, I’m sure she misses them and would love to eat cereal whilst chatting them up.
    4. Donald Trump would be invited because his security guards could protect everyone from some of my other guests.
    5. I would send an invite to Vladimir Putin just to stir the political pot. My dinner would likely get a lot of media coverage this way, too! Of course, I would be asking him all the questions and my captive audience of reporters would not be fed.
    6. I imagine if I invited Keanu Reeves, he would be spend the evening sitting in the corner dressed like a homeless man and talking to no one. I don’t know much about Mr. Reeves, but I’d invite him just to see if my predictions are true.

      Keanu Reeves
      I’m imagining exactly this.
    7. You, dear reader. I would invite you and we could sit in the corner opposite from Keanu Reeves and make sarcastic comments. I’m looking forward to becoming acquainted with all that is you. But keep in mind: you’re only number seven on my list, so don’t try getting too chummy with me.
    8. If the pictures I’ve seen of Cleopatra are any indication of her actual makeup habits, I would invite her so I could learn how to do that wicked cat eye.
    9. Am I only allowed to invite humans? It’s MY dinner party. Can I resurrect my cat for an evening?
    10. I would love to have an authentic caveman join us. He’d be hilarious to watch and I think his obsession with my candles all evening would be a great conversation starter.

Aaand we’re in a downward spiral. I’d better stop here before this post takes a dark turn.

Naturally, I would love for this dinner to start out wonderfully only to spiral into mayhem. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Mostly because, as the hostess of the evening, I would feel awkward when it would be time for me to kick out my guests. Some of them could overstay their welcome! But if I have a caveman making off with my candles, Trump taking to Twitter to tweet about his SAD dining experience, and Keanu Reeves evaporating into the mist, clearing out my dining room wouldn’t be too difficult.


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